2015

Not to sound cliche, but where did this year go? As I reflect on the days gone by (and as I scroll through my Instagram feed), this year definitely was a time where my faith and my friendships were solidified and I learned the value of taking care of myself.

The year was quite a blur. A good, messy, amazing blur. 

This year showed me that I needed to trust my struggles. I took a "big girl" chance and left my job for a new place. I started a new career path and the first few steps were filled with struggles and anxiety. It was the "good type" of scary, but hell, I was still scared! I had to readjust to a new office environment, learn a new system, and try to maintain a positive attitude, even though I felt like the whole financial world was falling apart. (Yeah, I'm dramatic, lol) But I came to the realization that this was the moment where I had to either rise with the challenge or get left behind. And with God's good graces, I feel like I'm at a good place in my career.

This year showed me the importance of taking care of myself. I finally gave myself a chance to appreciate the body that I own. Everyone has their own insecurities with the way they look, and I have also struggled with body image. But this year, I took it upon myself to really take a hard look at how I am treating my body. With the help of personal trainers, good friends and my boyfriend, I am currently at a point in my life where I am definitely happier with the way I look now than I ever did before. And I definitely feel great! But it wouldn't have happened with fad diets and cutting corners. I have fell in love with the gym and I hope it is starting to show. Moreover, I came to the realization that in order for me to take care of others, I must first take care of myself. The latter half of the year was filled with planning large scale events, helping out my loved ones and taking care of personal relationships, and also helping my new financial team out as much as I can. Needless to say, my emotions ran high and my energy was low - I was burnt out. I took a step back, and said, hey, I need to take time for myself, because if I don't, I will resent those around me. And in order for all my relationships to be the best, I need to feel the best.

This year showed me that I have placed my trust in the right people. 2015 was filled with great moments with amazing people. Took trips to Las Vegas and Portland, and played infinite basketball games. Bought tickets to almost every event possible during the year. Attended weddings and planned surprise engagements. Spent too much money at sushi joints, bubble tea places, and Sephora. Challenged our bodies (and friendships) during hikes and sports tournaments. We grew even closer than I thought possible. But 2015 also came with the harsh realization that not everyone understands the concept of loyalty. While some genuinely care about how you're doing, some will see just how much you'll tell them about yourself and others. I am so glad and thankful that I am surrounded by a group of people that I know I can count on, no matter what.

None of that "new year, new me" stuff. I'll still be the same asshole when the clock strikes midnight, let's be real here. This is simply a reflection on how great 2015 was and, potentially, 2016 will be even greater.

Happy New Year, y'all. All the best!

Dr. Bernstein Diet

October was filled with a ton of activities and events. But this is mainly going to be my experience and thoughts on being on the Dr. Bernstein Diet.

The Dr. B diet is essentially a weight loss program where you reduce your calorie intake and your body uses energy stored in your fat cells. Basically, your body doesn't have enough calories so it'll take from the stored energy from the fat cells. 

On the diet, I was allowed to have TWO servings only from 4 groups: fruits (1 serving = 1 fruit), veggies (240g veggies = 1 serving), protein (100g of protein = 1 serving) and carbs (1 slice of bread = 1 serving). I was basically eating around 900ish calories a day. That meant no working out. No running. No basketball. You couple this with Vitamin B12 injectables, and you follow a strict meal plan. And when I say strict, I mean, stricter than a nun in a covenant, nahmsayin'? Not only were the portions strict, but you had to purchase specific brands. And it even tells you the kind of fruit and veggies you could eat! (Pineapples, carrots and bananas were NOT allowed)

Now, my friend used to work in the Dr. B clinic, so she knew the ins and outs of this diet. 3 of us did it, and thank God for that support group, because I would have caved SO FAST. This was by far the most physically challenging thing I have ever done. But I felt like I was off-track for far too long. And I guess I needed something drastic..

Let me break down for you what I would have during the day:

Breakfast:1 piece of toast, 1 tablespoon of strawberry sugar free jam
Morning Snack: 1/2 apple
Lunch: 240g of veggies and 100grams of protein (normally chicken breast)
Afternoon Snack: 1/2 apple. 1 piece of bread. 1 piece of Laughing Cow Low Fat Cheese
Dinner: egg white omelette (this was my protein), 240g of veggies
Evening Snack: 1 orange, 1 cup of jello.

Jello was my freakin' saviour. Seriously. It curbed my sweet cravings after dinner.

Anyway, we planned on doing the diet for 14 days, but by the 10th day, I already reached my goal weight so I started to slowly incorporate "normal" food into my diet. Bowl of All-Bran cereal for breakfast, real eggs and more carbs so I actually had energy to work out. All in all, I lost 7lbs in 10 days.

Now I know it's not "healthy" but I did feel good afterwards because I realized that my body is capable of losing that weight. I hit a plateau for so long, that I thought my body couldn't lose anymore weight. But now that I know I can, I just gotta stick with it.

I found after the diet, my body rejected (and I mean, rejected) the awesome stuff. I had stomach aches after a slice of pizza, headaches after half a donut, and I was full after 6 pieces of gyoza and about 3 pieces of deep fried tofu. When I know I'm going to a restaurant, I have to plan exactly what I am going to eat so I make sure I don't get a stomach ache. Sigh. I suppose it's a good thing.. But I'm kind of sad that I can't really enjoy these types of food anymore!

The last couple of days, I've had some "cheat meals," also known as, meals I don't cook at home. Regardless if it's steamed dumplings or soup, if I don't make it at home, I consider that a cheat.

The boyf and I are celebrating our 3 year anniversary, starting off with brunch on Sunday. Plus a late Friendsgiving dinner, aaaand a few birthdays in between... Now, I really hope I don't gain back all I lost. But I think if majority of my week is made up of healthy eats, I can give myself room here and there to live a little ;)

And next week, I'm also going to a personal training session to hopefully get out of this rut I've been having in the gym. I'm hoping now that I'm eating normal again, I don't gain more than 2lbs...  That's the goal! So whoever is reading this, wish me luck! Not just in keeping my weight goal, but making sure I do this in a healthy way.

Now someone pass me some digestive tea...

Until next blogpost!

~chatterbox

The good type of scary

In the span of 2 months, I started a fitness challenge, help plan out a massive basketball and volleyball tryout in our region, made it on the Western Canada Women's Basketball team, and found a new job. Yeah, it's been quite the ride. 

With all of these things happening, it's been overwhelming, and part of me really wants to just hide in the corner by myself with my fanfiction and ignore the world. I think what's really making me feel nervous is the start of a new job (and possibly my career) on Monday.  I officially resigned last week, and it's been really hard to say goodbye to the place I've been at for almost 3 years. I owe a lot to my boss for taking a chance on me, a fresh-out-SFU-graduate. 

I honestly hate change. Okay, hate is a strong word, but it's a definite strong dislike. I like being comfortable and having a good routine. But God has a plan for me, and I have to trust in that and believe in myself. It's officially my last day tomorrow, and I think there might be a few tears... #realtalk

One week out until our basketball/volleyball tournament in Oregon. What I've noticed is that I'm very, very tough on myself. I know that they say, "your biggest critic is yourself," but I find that I treat myself unfairly - especially when it comes to playing basketball. Perhaps I expect more of myself. Or maybe I compare myself too much with other people. But it could be the fact that it's Shark Week right now... Hmm.

But honestly, I feel very blessed to have a group of people in my life that will remind me to be confident in myself. With all of the events happening in my life, a lot of emotions have been coming at me, left, right and centre, and I forget sometimes to just breathe.  So shoutouts to my people. Thanks for keeping this girl sane. 

And in a couple of weeks, me and bf will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary! I don't know how he puts up with me, but hey, I ain't complaining. I'm not big on PDA, but.. I am definitely lucky. 

SIGH. Here we go. Some big scary changes... But the good type of scary. 

Till next time,

~chatterbox

July, bro

Vegas, baby;

I finally went to Vegas!! Yes, I know right? I felt like I was the only one in this world that hasn't gone. The bf and I met up with my East Coast fams and it was SO great to finally have him meet the rest of my family. Went way over my calorie count, took loads of photos, hiked part of the Grand Canyon and blew my money on clothes. But the best part of the vacation was being able to see my family and just spending time with my dad.

ATG / 101;

July marks a special date in my life. Without going into too much detail, let's just say my faith was renewed and strengthened again. People may be lost in the world, but I am so thankful I have a guiding light. (Plus, we always get to rock our Sunday Best!)

CrewLove;

Foreal though, how many people say they have found a group of friends who they know will be there for them at all times of the day? After years of going through fake friends who put in half the effort, I have finally found the core group of people that I know will be with me through the long haul. They're the first ones I think of whenever there's an event coming up. It's true. Within 4 days in July, we bought tickets to the Women's FIFA World Cup (Canada vs. England), Miguel, Kevin Hart Tour, and the Raptors vs. Clippers game. Not to mention the 6 hour long hike this coming weekend! I could start and end every weekend with these guys. 

Heart; 

I have crazy tendencies, but he never fails to calm me down. If I had to list down all the things he does for me on the daily, it would take up a whole other blog. So for now, let me just say, I'm definitely lucky to have this one in my life.

Well, it's the long weekend over here. So that means more time for fun ;) Tomorrow, prep for #Garabaldeezy2015 and carb up for our 6 hour hike! I promise I'll do my best to update more often. (Yeah, cuz I have so many followers...)

Till next time,

~chatterbox

Significant Other vs. Family

It's a tale that's old as time, which usually ends terribly. I mean, hello, Romeo and Juliet? But does it always have to end that way with both sides losing someone they love? 

Oh, Leo. My childhood crush. 

Maybe I'm being a little melodramatic, but I have a good friend who's dating someone that we don't all really get along with. Now, he's a good person and I know he means well, but there are some instances where I feel like he doesn't really try. He would rather shut himself in her room instead of playing board games with us downstairs. And while I respect people's privacy, I would like to think you want to try to hang out with us, right?  

Also, I feel like the girl we used to know isn't there anymore. Or at least, she's hiding. From my perspective, she would rather take the blame (even if it's not her fault), stop the fighting and sweep it under the rug, instead of battling it out and solving the issue. And she's not that type of person! She's strong willed and opinionated and it's so strange to see that girl being so.. passive. Because of this, and a few other instances, It's caused some friction between our friends, but I've seen it cause problems with her and her family. 

But I think what concerns me the most is that she hasn't really talked to her family about what's going on. I know this relationship has caused a bit of a divide between them, and I feel like if she doesn't say anything, it'll be too late and she'll have to choose. And that really sucks, choosing between people you love. 

... ANYWAY, enough of that! Whew, who dragged these emotions?!

Speaking of emotions, I recently watched "Inside Out" with the boyfriend, and it was GREAT! Did I totally ugly cry? Obviously. I have no idea how they came out with emotions having.. well, emotions, but they knocked it out of the park. Great for the whole family! But watching it from an "older" point of view, I was able to appreciate the details of the movie i probably would have missed if I was a child - the dark canyons of our subconscious, the literal "Train Of Thought" and how in order to feel the joy, you have to go through some sadness. 5/5 stars! Well done, Pixar. 

Hopefully the next few days go by quickly! Last minute errands for our Vegas trip, watching the Canada vs. England FIFA game on Saturday, and then off to see my fams! I just hope that month end goes smoothly at work. *insert prayer emoji here*

Till the next post :)

Shoutouts

Gotta give big ups to my friends who hold me down when I'm feeling crazy. 

Tough, tough week at work. Long story short I had to fix other people's messes because other than my boss, I'm the only one here that knows how to do it. And that has caused a whole back log of work. But PTL - praise the Lawwwd, I was able to catch up!

But I got a few emails and text messages of reassurance, letting me know to keep calm and carry on. 

But on a much better note, I booked me and AJB's tickets to Vegas, copped tickets for Women's FIFA Semi Finals, Clippers vs. Raptors in Vancouver, and Kevin Hart's "What Now?" tour! My friends and I love our shows, lol. 

I currently write this sitting in a chair at Aveda (hair school) and waiting for the hair colour to set. It's been 6 years since I've dyed my hair, and now it's time for a change. My stomach is growwwwwling though, this homegirl has got to eat! 

Glad that the work week is over. Time to enjoy the rest of the sunny weekend! 

I should be sleeping.

Oh man, I was re reading some of my old posts and I can't believe all the changes that's happened within the last 4-5 years. It's funny how at 22 I thought I knew it all.  Man, if I could go back in time and give myself some advice! 

Currently, I've been feeling the lull of this desk job. Don't get me wrong, I like the corporate life. And I can't complain that it's only a 10 minute drive from home. But the routine of the day is just dragging... I mean, working with numbers isn't exactly the most exciting job anyway, but I need some sort of challenge. I've been applying to a few different places, so hopefully I can land something that I will enjoy for the next 30 odd years. All in God's will though! 

Anyway... 

I think one of my biggest pet peeve are people who can't make decisions for themselves, or don't know how to stand up for themselves. 

I am fiercely independent, which can sometimes get me into trouble. I mean, I have strong opinions, what do you want me to do? #sorrynotsorry. Maybe I'm just used to that way of thinking. Maybe I'm used to being surrounded by similar types of individuals. But whatever the reason may be, when I witness a person not being able to stand up for themselves or they can't make a decision on their own, it irks me to no end. How do people get into relationships when they don't know how to be secure with themselves? A relationship requires TWO people to be secure in their individual lives for it to work, or else you're just latching on to another person for your own self esteem. If you don't have your two feet planted on the ground, you will be swept away if the relationship ends. 

Just some late night rants before this weekend ends. It was a good weekend indeed. Here's to another 5 day work week, sigh.